{"id":1163,"date":"2018-04-02T01:00:18","date_gmt":"2018-04-02T01:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jlwriters.com\/?p=1163"},"modified":"2018-04-02T08:08:27","modified_gmt":"2018-04-02T08:08:27","slug":"writing-on-the-spectrum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jlwriters.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/02\/writing-on-the-spectrum\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing on the Spectrum"},"content":{"rendered":"

April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day, and to kick off our monthly theme of neurodiversity, Corinne, our resident expert and an Aspie herself, sat down with some other group members to talk about life on the spectrum.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Autism is a developmental disorder. The causes are unknown, but discoveries have recently been made into genetics and environmental factors. People born with autism experience difficulties in speech development and social interaction, physical \u201cticks\u201d such as flapping hands or tapping feet, and specific, obsessive interests. Some autistics also have comorbid conditions such as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).<\/em><\/p>\n

When were you first diagnosed?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Corinne:<\/strong> My mom, a child psychologist, knew that I was on the spectrum from the time I was about two years old, but every time she took me in to get evaluated, the doctors all decided I wasn\u2019t autistic because I was too high-functioning to fit into the definition of classic autism. When Asperger\u2019s finally became a diagnosis in the early 2000\u2019s, I was eleven, and she finally was able to get me a diagnosis and ask for services from the school.<\/p>\n

Cassandra:<\/strong>\u00a0I only used to share the following with people I trust. But now, circumstances have changed. When I was fourteen, I got into an altercation with another student at school, though up until that point, I had been the well-behaved type. After that, my teachers pretty much forced me to get diagnosed and get me certified as a special needs student through a psychiatrist. I had no say in the matter.<\/p>\n

Melion:<\/strong> Actually, I had this long response all written up, and then realized that it got into far too many personal aspects of my life, and I thought, \u201cDude, do you even want to share that stuff? Also, who the heck cares about that?\u201d and decided I\u2019ll give the short, uninteresting answer. I received an informal diagnosis as part of a clinical university study. The aim of the study was to develop a diagnostic rubric for autism in adults, but all they could tell me was \u201cYeah, you reflect the characteristics we\u2019ve commonly observed among adults with Asperger\u2019s. That\u2019s all we can do for you. Now please dedicate the next six months of your life to coming in whenever summoned.\u201d I eventually dropped out of the testing, but that\u2019s a story for another day.<\/p>\n

Louise:<\/strong> I don\u2019t have a formal diagnosis. I was tested in first grade (1989-90) and found to have dysgraphia and underwent a year of therapy. Nowadays, my sister, a teacher, will often ask me questions she uses to test her understanding of spectrum children. Her perspective is that if I was in school today, I would be tested for autism spectrum disorder.<\/p>\n

Katelyn:<\/strong> I was diagnosed about five years ago, but my parents had suspected long before that. It wasn\u2019t until I was already an adult that I decided I wanted to see if I fit the official diagnosis for Asperger\u2019s Syndrome. Turns out, I do, though it does make me wonder if I was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a kid or if I really have that as well.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Even into adulthood, autistics face difficulties getting along with peers and often struggle with loneliness and depression.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What are some of the challenges of being on the spectrum in terms of everyday life?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Corinne:<\/strong> Not being able to make small talk or get along with others naturally. I\u2019m a teacher, but I sometimes have trouble relating to my kids or knowing what to say in certain situations. Like, I get flustered when I have to break up a fight, or I don\u2019t know how to talk to my kids when it\u2019s non-class time, so I just don\u2019t say anything at all.<\/p>\n

Cassandra:<\/strong> Every day is a challenge; when I was little, I wasn\u2019t made aware how to overcome it. I often asked my parents why they brought an imperfect me into a fallen world\u2014I mean, if they loved me, they shouldn\u2019t have been so merciless as to allow me to exist and face cruel reality, right? \u2014 though I am determined not to make this disability impede my path to success. To this day, I still have not grasped the ability to respond quickly or wittily to certain questions\/answers. I also get misunderstood by people easily.<\/p>\n

Melion:<\/strong> Not knowing if what I\u2019m about to say is too weird. I have a warped sense of humor, and I don\u2019t always know when it is and is not ok to deploy it, so I often settle for keeping my mouth shut which makes it easy for people to dismiss me as shy. Also, eye contact. My grandfather taught me when I was little how to make eye contact, but as a result, I often am too intense with my eye contact and have to remind myself to look away.<\/p>\n

On the positive side, my colleagues have often commented over the years about how I seem able to keep cool when in the face of stress. They clearly don\u2019t live with me. Having to work on self-awareness has also taught me to be aware of how what I\u2019m about to say or do will impact others, and it\u2019s helped me develop a certain amount of social decorum so that, while I might seem cold in social settings, I\u2019m not prone to breaches of etiquette.<\/p>\n

Louise:<\/strong> I have trouble understanding humor and often laugh too late or not at all. I dealt with significant anger issues through all my schooling. I don\u2019t always understand what is happening in social settings, but I do not have any anxiety about being in a social setting.<\/p>\n

I also have some noise sensitivity issues, and I also have trouble saying no. I avoid eye contact or give too much eye contact, and I\u2019ve never learned an in-between. Luckily, at my job, I can use the excuse of taking copious notes in order to avoid eye contact.<\/p>\n

Katelyn:<\/strong> I probably get told once a week to \u201cturn the volume down,\u201d because when I\u2019m excited or happy, I can\u2019t always tell how loud I\u2019m being. I have a tendency to take people literally, which means sometimes I miss jokes or misinterpret what someone wanted me to do. I also have a really hard time still with prolonged eye contact. I seem to live in this land of extremes. Either I end up staring, or I don\u2019t look at them at all.<\/p>\n

\"\"
People with autism have trouble making eye contact and often have sensory processing issues, meaning they can\u2019t handle certain noises, tastes, sights, or smells.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Asperger\u2019s\/autism is a social disability. Do you think this has any effect on your writing?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Corinne:<\/strong> Most definitely. I have a lot of trouble writing subtext because having Asperger\u2019s often means you have no guile, so my characters also tend to lack ulterior motives. Oftentimes it won\u2019t be a problem, but sometimes I\u2019ll write a scene one way, thinking it reads completely naturally, and my neuro-typical critique partners will point out a piece of dialogue or an action and mention that it seems too convenient for that character to do\/say that at that point.<\/p>\n

Cassandra:<\/strong> Despite being told me my characters are characteristic of Asperger\u2019s, I still don\u2019t know in what ways the condition manifests itself through my characters, and I have yet to find out exactly what has gone wrong.<\/p>\n

Melion:<\/strong> Yes, it certainly has. Writing emotion is . . . difficult. As I explained to a friend, I understand that writing, \u201c[Character] clenched her fist as [Antagonist] spoke,\u201d shows that the character is angry. What I have trouble with is determining if that anger is appropriate. In other words, would a \u201cnormal\u201d person respond to being in the character\u2019s position with anger? Or would they be expecting that the character be sad? And, if the character is sad, should the character cry? Essentially, I find I have to spend a lot of time observing people in real life to figure out how \u201cnormal\u201d people process emotion.<\/p>\n

Louise:<\/strong> It can be both a strength and weakness. Every writer has challenges they have to work around. As a child I learned to read emotions through physical actions. That means I can pull on those learned attributes for characterization. My non-verbal emotions in writing are typically acceptable. I feel my own emotions differently than many, so many times my \u201cold standby\u201d descriptions sound fresh to others because of how I think, but my beta readers often tell me what my stories lack is the internalization of emotion. That\u2019s where I struggle the most.<\/p>\n

Katelyn:<\/strong> I\u2019d say it does. My characters notice waaaay too much but don\u2019t show much emotion. It might just be that I underreact to some things while others I\u2019m overstimulated by, so it creates this imbalance in areas.<\/p>\n

\"\"
One symptom of autism is having extremely specific, limited interests. Autistic people might show interest in things like how trains are built or insist upon memorizing bus schedules.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What is one thing you wish neurotypicals (non-disabled people) understood about having a disability?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Corinne:<\/strong> That we\u2019re also people with feelings who deserve respect. It makes me really uncomfortable when people use the \u201cr\u201d word around me, and especially when they don\u2019t respect my feelings about it when I ask them to stop. Be our allies, not our enemies. Or if you can\u2019t be our ally, then at least stop saying and doing things that disrespect us.<\/p>\n

Cassandra:<\/strong> Despite being wired differently, we\u2019re not second-class people who want to be treated in any way that inspires jealousy from neurotypical people; we look for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness even though our circumstances and internal make-up are not as advantageous as theirs are. I can\u2019t control your thoughts or feelings towards me, but I can present myself with the attitude of a winner.<\/p>\n

Just like in the lyrics of Colors of the Wind:<\/p>\n

You think the only people who are people
\nAre the people who look and think like you
\nBut if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
\nYou’ll learn things you never knew you never knew
\nStay hungry. Stay foolish. Especially when it comes to learning about us.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Does everyone look and think like you? Think again.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Melion:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know. Years ago, I went to a support group meeting for adults with high-functioning autism (I was directed there as one of the few resources I received as part of the above-mentioned study) and the us-vs-them mentality of the environment made me uncomfortable as I sat perched on my chair silently watching the whole thing. Discourse de-evolved very quickly into a group of adults having a diatribe against neurotypical people.<\/p>\n

I understand the anger. I\u2019m old enough that it was acceptable for my first-grade teacher to call me a \u201cretard\u201d in front of the rest of the class and say to the teaching-aide (a fellow student\u2019s mom), \u201cDon\u2019t bother working with her on reading–she belongs in special ed and her parents are being difficult. She can\u2019t learn to read.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or the time some of my coworkers when I worked for the state had a conversation–in the office, mind you–about how autistic people are all violent sociopaths and should be rounded up and kept away from society. Forced sterilization was definitely mentioned. I was too cowardly to out myself, but I did manage to ask them to show me the research on which they were basing these calls for forced institutionalization. My coworkers dodged, I pushed, they dodged, I insisted. Finally, I just said, \u201cOk, fine. You win. Based on absolutely no evidence, we should start imprisoning innocent people and forcing them to be sterilized. I can\u2019t imagine where I\u2019ve heard that before.\u201d<\/p>\n

Education on all sides is ultimately the key, but even then, education works best when it appeals to the inquisitive side of our humanity. If I come at people from the moral high ground of demanding that they educate themselves as though it\u2019s some sort of punishment, such a hostile approach tends to cause people to react negatively.<\/p>\n

Louise:<\/strong> Just because I don\u2019t pick up your emotions doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t have my own. Just because some of my mannerisms (the way I hold my hands\/head, the repetitive self-soothing motions I use, and the reduction of stimuli around me) are slightly different, everyone has their own qualities that make them unique. Mine just happen to also help with my mental health.<\/p>\n

Katelyn:<\/strong> That I\u2019m not like what you see in the media. Yes, it\u2019s a sliding scale, so naturally some people are on the extreme ends of that scale, but I think a lot of us are way more integrated into mainstream society than most people think. People are almost always surprised when they find out I\u2019m on the spectrum because I\u2019m so \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n

I mean, yeah, a lot of us don\u2019t like change and we can have a hard time with it, but we\u2019re not completely inflexible and we can adapt. There\u2019s this really pervasive idea though that we\u2019re all like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, but I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever met a fellow adult on the spectrum that acts like that.<\/p>\n

\"\"
The rainbow puzzle ribbon is a widely-recognized symbol of autism awareness. The rainbow colors signify all the different kinds of people on the spectrum, and the puzzle pieces represent the puzzle that autism still is to us and how much we still don\u2019t know about it.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What do you predict the future will be like for adults on the spectrum?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Corinne:<\/strong> In an ideal world, all young people on the spectrum would receive the services I did in school and after graduating. Things like applying for college, searching for jobs, job interview practice, etc. so that they can become successful individuals who don\u2019t have to rely on their parents for the rest of their lives. For adults who were diagnosed later in life, ideally, their diagnosis would perhaps grant them access to services that vary from one person to another: counseling, perhaps, or job search strategies, life skills, etc. However, the reality is that young people are receiving a lot of these sorts of services, but older folks who were diagnosed in their twenties, thirties, forties, and even later don\u2019t have very many services available to them because the opinion is \u201cit\u2019s already too late for them.\u201d All the funding for such services are being directed toward young people.<\/p>\n

Cassandra:<\/strong> It can go two ways. We may remain a minority, and we may still be marginalized because we\u2019re not predisposed to neurotypical social activity. Even though we may be ambivalent about speaking up, at this stage this is the only thing we can do to better our lives and those around us. When we suffer, our loved ones suffer too.<\/p>\n

Melion:<\/strong> Uh . . . I don\u2019t know what the future will look like (I know, that\u2019s a dull answer from a speculative fiction author, but my answer involving cyborgs and lasers seemed too flippant for a serious discussion). I know that I\u2019d like to see more understanding within the psychological community towards adults seeking a formal diagnosis. I have numerous reasons why I want a diagnosis \u201con paper,\u201d and it frustrates me that, at least in my experience, adults seeking a formal diagnosis are treated as though we\u2019re inconveniencing the psychiatrist or psychologist because we want to better understand ourselves. Or because we want our insurance to cover the fees associated with accessing resources.<\/p>\n

But outside of the psychiatrist\u2019s office, I just want to be seen as a normal person because, well, I am a normal person. I might respond differently to the world around me, but take a hundred people, put them in a situation, and you\u2019ll get a hundred different responses.<\/p>\n

Louise:<\/strong> The future is now! Oh, wait, um, I guess I\u2019d like to see spectrum acknowledged but integrated. There are levels of spectrum disorder which can adjust and have productive lives. The spectrum people I know range from those in very social occupations like my own to ones with little outside contact. Often the difference between success and failure in the less severe forms is early adaptation and expectations. If you expect us to fail, we will. If you expect us to succeed, we can. In the more severe forms, acknowledgment would be greatly appreciated. There are many invisible disabilities, i.e. heart conditions, anxiety, COPD. Just because they are invisible doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t exist. For those spectrum individuals who cannot adapt, we need to find a way for them to integrate.<\/p>\n

Katelyn:<\/strong> I\u2019d like to see more services for adults. My ADD diagnosis gets me more class services than my Asperger\u2019s diagnosis does at my college last time I checked.<\/p>\n

Helping kids learn unspoken social rules at an early age would be nice too. Most of what I\u2019ve learned has been through my own research or experience. Personally, I probably needed someone as a kid to take me aside and teach me that there are people out there that would take advantage of my trusting nature. I had to learn that lesson the hard way because I can\u2019t always read people and what their true intentions for me are.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Autism awareness is only the first step. Acceptance is key.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Thank you very much for joining us today. If you\u2019d like to learn more about autism or Asperger Syndrome, please check out the following resources:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Online resources<\/strong>
\nNational Autistic Society<\/a> – UK based organization advocating for autistics everywhere
\nAutism Research Institute<\/a> – US-based autism research organization
\nInvisible I<\/a> \u2013 Youtube channel documenting Katy\u2019s struggles with ASD
\n\u201cEye Contact\u201d<\/a> \u2013 a series of Youtube videos by user KHFMcAwesome talking about his experience with Asperger Syndrome
\nAsperger\u2019s and Me<\/a> – TV host Chris Packham\u2019s account of his Asperger\u2019s Syndrome (Part One\u2014parts two and three are accessible in \u201crecommended videos\u201d)<\/p>\n

Books<\/strong>
\nNerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate<\/a> by Cynthia Kim
\nDifferent, Not Less<\/a> by Temple Grandin<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day, and to kick off our monthly theme of neurodiversity, Corinne, our resident expert and an Aspie herself, sat down with some other group members to talk about life on the spectrum.\u00a0 Autism is a developmental disorder. 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